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When I was first introduced to Arbonne it was in the winter of 2007 - 14 years ago. My friend called and said, “you have to try these products they new!” I went Nah, it's ok. She responded it's free – I said, “ok then I can do free!”. I knew I wanted in on this business. So, I jumped straight in. It took me a little while to grow my business and I had to do lots of personal development. Now I am an Executive Area Manager with Arbonne.
The more I learn about the mind, body, skin the more I realize I have so much still to learn and to pass on to others. Arbonne has the most amazing personal development programs and support available.
It’s in this personal development journey that I have really discovered some important and amazing things that I needed for myself and my business. It was about 2 years ago that I came across this topic and I had never heard of imposter syndrome before.
Imposter Syndrome is where you might have success in life, but you feel like a fraud. You feel like it was just luck or in a room of people who are skilled, you feel that I am just winging my way through.
The most common signs of Imposter syndrome are:
· Self- doubt.
· The inability to realistically assess your skills or competence.
· You might break yourself down.
· Fear you won't live up to expectations.
· Sabotage your own success.
· Setting particularly challenging goals and feel extremely disappointed when you don’t achieve them.
Those feelings can really come at a cost to your wellbeing in terms of your anxiety, making sure that people don’t really find out that you are not the real deal.
When I came across this, I could really relate to some of these things. I wondered if this was what was going in my head. I tend to be an overthinker.
So! Ask yourself: “Is this me?”
Do you agonize over the smallest mistake or flaws in your work?
Do you attribute your success to outside luck or factors?
Are you overly sensitive to constructive criticism?
Do you downplay your own expertise – even when you are more genuinely skilled than other people?
Identifying these things can be beneficial in releasing them.
These are things that may never go away but when we start to be more open and freer about the things we are thinking about, that will allow us to push through.
There are 5 types of Imposter syndrome:
1. Perfectionist – You are never satisfied (and think you can always do better) and you might focus on your flaws and mistakes rather than on what you have achieved.
2. Superhero – These individuals typically feel inadequate and work super (super) hard for example they will study all night.
3. The expert – They are always trying to learn, and they are never satisfied with their level of learning.
4. The natural genius – These people will set lofty goals and will feel crushed when they first do not succeed.
5. The soloist – they prefer to work alone. Their self-worth is based on their productivity and they don’t accept help. It’s seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence.
So, if you feel that these could be you, you might want to observe and ask yourself what core beliefs do I hold about myself. Do I need to be perfect for others to approve of me?
Sometimes it helps to share our feelings and talk with others, the more you talk about it, the more you can start to hear the absurdity of these things.
Another way is to focus on other people as opposed to focussing on yourself. Whilst that feels counterintuitive – it really helps get out of your own head.
Another way would be to assess your abilities, to write down your accomplishments, what you good at, and compare that with your own self-assessment.
Take baby steps because we are never going to do things perfectly.
1. Stilling that voice in our head. Who believes the things that we are telling ourselves – Its ourselves! We are the only person listening to that voice. “You can’t outperform your own self-concept”- it means If you feel you are not up for it, you won’t be. Get out of our head and be over there with others.
2. I am in absolute awe of how through mediation you can let go. Be present, in the moment. Not looking inwardly and berating yourself. Let go of things you can’t change. I recommend the book by Michael Singer – The Surrender Experiment
90% of things you worry about never happen.
Today I had a brilliant surprise. But Right before the surprise I was concerned. My niece and her mum were going to stop by for a visit, but the timing wasn’t working out for me and as the time approached, I was really concerned.
Because I had been meditating – I let it go, it will work out.
What happened was when my niece came, and she brought her brother (who I hadn’t seen in years). He had arrived from the states and had been in lockdown – so it was a beautiful surprise.
The universe has something in store for you, that you can never plan for yourself.
If I had stuck to my guns and said do not come now it’s not going to work – I would have spoilt the whole surprise.
When we stop overthinking we stop fighting the situation. We can be calm, be present, allow it to pass, and let go so those beautiful things can happen.
The resources I refer to are:
Michael Singer – The Surrender Experiment.
The imposter cure– by Dr Jessamy Hibbert
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